Thursday, April 5, 2018

The Easter Incident(s) of 2018 Part I


            Last weekend was Easter. A time for spiritual reflection (other people, not me), chocolate and trauma. I would like to say that the trauma part happened to someone else. It did, but it was still within the orb of my monkeys, my circus.  
            It was a beautiful Good Friday. The sun was shining, it was cold and food needed to be purchased. We piled into the Outlander and went to the “bakery store.” Our outing was going well, the deluxe car cart was gradually filling with a decent amount of healthy food and our little cherub was enjoying her free cookie. Wade set her free from the cart and that’s when our troubles began.
            I broke away from the group to contemplate toilet paper while they were getting milk and eggs. I was basking in the glow of sales tags on the twelve packs of double roll, which look more like regular rolls. What is this? Did they add four squares and call it double? Is there someone legislating what constitutes a double roll? Then I spied the recycled paper. What thing would be more hilarious to bring to a toilet-paper-centric Environmental Scientist than a package of recycled toilet paper. But the price was higher than the store brand. Hmmmm.
            My toilet tissue muse was interrupted by a high-pitched wail. That sounds like my kid. She was probably just told no, possibly to ice cream. Wade’s got this. I grabbed the package that was on sale, had more than one ply and had a nice quilt pattern. I rounded the corner with a big grin on my face, from my recent laugh at the idea of the look on Wade’s face about recycled toilet paper. It was then that I discovered our cart abandoned in the middle of the aisle. Grin fading and frown forming, I inspected what had been added to the fancy car cart. Milk, no eggs. Maybe there was a poop emergency or pee or something. Or maybe they were raptured. Meh. I continued our shopping trip solo. They’ll catch up.
            I finished the last aisle and made my way to pay. I was at the non-self-check-out and was just about to text Wade to see if he was dealing with some sort of five alarm red alert blow out when he strolled by, child in tow. I shouted at him and miraculously he actually heard me.
 “She had an accident.”
Before I get into the gory details, it was not poo related, I was an EMT and this kind of stuff gives me a bit of a buzz.
I looked down at the tears on my kid’s face. He was applying pressure to her head. She was doing a combination of weeping and whimpering. Intrigued, I moved the paper towel to have a look. I feasted my eyes on a gaping head wound. When I say gaping, I don’t mean her brain was showing. It was probably a centimeter long and open about a quarter of that length. A wave of adrenaline induced nausea hit me. I need to eat something. “We’re going to take you to see the doctor.”
“The doctor,” she replied and immediately started to howl.
I quickly paid for the order and we moved to the front entrance of the store where the lighting is better. I needed to check to see if I was dealing with a shallow cut or something that needed more than a kiss and a Band-Aid. I moved her hair and was able to push the cut closed. That’s going to need stitches or glue. Visions of restraining my kid in the emergency room came to life in my mind. I put the paper towel back in place and we moved our little trauma victim to the car.
            “What happened?” I asked Wade.
            “She ran into me and bounced off. I tried to grab her jacket and didn’t have a good enough grip and she fell backwards and hit her head on a display pallet. When she let out her howl, I checked her head and there was a scratch. Then there was a lot of blood.” Wade looked like a man who failed his kid. No need to admonish him, he probably feels worse than she does.
            “Like a wood pallet?”
            “Yeah.”
            “I thought you just told her no for something.”
            “No, that was her injured scream.” Mom of the year right here. In my defence, I was a couple aisles over and grocery store acoustics.
“We probably should’ve mentioned this to someone. Oh well.” I strapped her into the car seat and instructed her to hold pressure on her head. She continued to cry, albeit quieter than between the store and car. I got in the driver’s seat and checked the emergency room wait times. Children’s was a 45-minute wait. Less than an hour, how novel. I hope there won’t be a mass casualty incident while we’re on our way.
Phone stowed, I started the car and we drove over to the hospital. I went in the new entrance off Shaganappi and was promptly slightly lost. My trusty navigator advised me to the Emergency parking lot. We piled out of the car and headed to triage.
 The triage nurse was very nice, she took down her information and directed all of the important questions to the patient. I am in the habit of letting her answer until she digs herself into a hole.
“Does anyone hurt you at home or school,” asked the nurse. Abuse questions right off the bat. Interesting strategy.
“Zoë,” she replied.
Huh?
“Who is Zoë, is she someone at your house or your school” the nurse replied tapping on her keyboard.
“School.”
“You haven’t seen Zoë today, Sweetie.” Now I have to start responding for her before Child and Family Services is involved. “She is a little girl at her day home, she’s not in school yet. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t hurt you Sweetie. Tell her what happened to you.”
“I fell down.” Oh, for fuck sakes. The truth, but that explanation? Throw me a bone child!
I laughed uncomfortably at the cuteness of my kid’s complete ignorance to the Pandora’s Box she was starting to open. Just then Wade walked by, obviously looking for us. Thank Christ. Good Friday. Apropos. I yelled his name and for the second time that day, he heard me.
            “Can you please explain to the nurse what happened,” turning back to her I added, “I wasn’t there when it happened.” She nodded knowingly. Pressure off of my hot seat, Wade provided the same explanation he gave to me. Satisfied with his response, she applied a freezing gel and a roll of cling and sent us to the non-infectious waiting room. The wait time was dropping. It was down to 34 minutes. The gel quickly began to do its job and she was running around attempting to play with the other kids in the dent and scratch waiting room.
            “Adriana.” A gentleman dressed in scrubs was calling us. That was fast. We gathered up the victim and her three PJ Mask stuffies and moved to the man who was the conduit to the back.
            “Room three,” he said as he directed us to what looked like a trauma bay which had been converted into a multi-bed room with pastel rainbow curtains around each bed. I picked her up and put her on the exam table. She was immediately enamoured with the pain chart showing different facial expressions and their associated pain number.
            “Which one are you feeling?” I asked.
            “That one,” she said pointing at the smiley number one.
            “That gel must be working. Does your head hurt?”
            “Not really.”
            The doctor was in within a few minutes.
            “Hello Adriana, how are you?”
            “I’m good,” she mumbled
            “I see you have some friends there, who are they,” he said referring to the PJ Masks.
            “Owlette, Gekko and Catboy,” she replied, perking up. Well played doctor, well played.
            “I’m Dr.-I-Can’t-Remember-His-Name. It’s nice to meet you. I see you hit your head. Do you mind if I take a look?”
            “OK,” she said in her sulky injured voice.
            “What happened,” he asked.
            Wade responded repeating his story for the third time in the last hour. Bandage removed, he was inspecting the cut.
            “This is my mom, her name is Heather,” she said brightly, with the are-you-so-proud-of-me look on her face. I’ll keep you in mind if I ever need a wingman.
            “Thanks for the introduction kiddo,” I said smiling.
            “I think this is going to need some glue.” He went on to explain that glue is easier to apply than stitches and assured us that it was medical grade Krazy Glue. As he walked out of the curtained room, she noticed the toys out in the open area.
            “Beads!” She was looking at one of those toys with the wire and beads. Her posture was coiling to jump off the table.
            “No, stay there. He’s not done with you yet.” He returned with his tube of glue and sealed her scalp.
            “It should be all healed up in five to seven days. Keep an eye on it for signs of infection, odours, redness or pus. Bring her back right away if she has any of those. Enjoy the rest of your day.”
            In and out in less than an hour. When we went back through the waiting area, it was packed. Well timed, people, well timed.                         




No comments:

Post a Comment