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Materials needed:
1 child, preferably under five years old with limited
coordination
1 bathroom with running water
1 hand soap dispenser, full of soap
1 hand towel
1 stool
1 improvised tap lengthener (old cut up body wash bottle)
1. Instruct
child to go wash hands. Do not accompany child.
2. Allow
child to close door; privacy is of the upmost concern for the child and their hand
washing habits.
3. Become suspicious
of child’s hand washing performance after listening to water run continuously for 5 minutes.
4. Yell (in
order to be heard over the closed door and tap) to shut off the water.
5. Yell
until voice breaks and the elderly voice is firmly established due to strained vocal cords.
6. Pull
self away from the task that seemed more important than supervising a child washing their hands.
7. Open
door.
8. Pick
lock.
9. Open
door.
10. Gently
push stool and child away from the door while asking in newly formed raspy
11. Step in
puddle.
12.
Discover child had not put improvised tap lengthener on tap.
13. Gaze
around bathroom. Note water on wall across the bathroom.
14. Remain
calm.
15. Rinse
child’s hands, which contain most of the freshly filled soap dispenser.
16. Dry off
child’s hands. Discover towel has been placed in the sink with water at some point.
17.
Retrieve fresh towel.
18. Dry off
child’s hands and send to another part of the house.
19. Sigh.
20. Dry off
every surface in the bathroom. Note that aside from the toilet bowl, the bathroom is now clean.
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